Emotional Intelligence Means Having the Hard Talk

I worked with Rob Zelinka, our former CIO, for a very short time — but one conversation with him has stuck with me ever since.

At the time, I was facing persistent delays and gaps in a knowledge transition. The root issue traced back to a peer IT manager. Multiple team members had raised concerns. When I brought it to Rob, he didn’t offer a workaround or escalation path. He simply said:

“You have to have the hard talk with the ABC manager.”

It caught me off guard. This wasn’t a direct report. It was a peer. And I worried about creating friction. But Rob’s advice reframed how I think about leadership:

Having the hard conversation is not a sign of conflict — it’s a sign of emotional intelligence.

• It’s about respect through honesty

• Prioritizing progress over politeness

• Being clear without being harsh

Looking back, I’ve since had dozens of far more complex hard conversations — with executives, direct reports, and cross-functional peers — with stakes 100x higher than that situation. But that one moment gave me the framework I needed to lead with clarity, empathy, and courage.

Thank you, Rob — your brief mentorship had a lasting impact

What was the leadership lesson that changed how you show up in tough conversations?

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